Archive for January, 2012

I have too many rant posts ;_;
January 30, 2012

(_ _);; Gemini’s upload was supposed to be today, because today is Ryan’s yt channel 2-year anniversary. But… x_X we failed. I mean, that’s not a big deal actually lol. It’s just that us trying our best to get it out today was really stressful. ;_;

I came home from school at 3 PM—exhausted already because I hate school—then got on the computer and immediately started working on the preliminary mix from Ryan. x____X And mixed… and mixed……. and mixed some more…………. until 10 PM. ._. When I finally passed on the mix to  Chiisana for EQing, mastering, fixing up all of the volume issues that I left. Then I still had to go on Sony Vegas to fix a part of the video because Jeffrey messed up, so we had to change the order for the dialogue. :/

And idkkkk ;w; it’s just stressful. And being in a rush.. but being really frustrated because the files were hard to work with and because I’m not that great of a mixer.. >< I didn’t know what I was doing. And mixing for 6-7 hours straight like that really put me in a grumpy mood, paired with an irritable temper.
There was so much to do in so little time. ;_; Because I still had to keep in mind that I had to pass on the files to Chiisana, who would still have a LOT of work cut out for her [with hw still to do].. then she’d have to pass the final mp3 to me to render the video with and then finally upload. x_X It was too much to do in a day so we failed.

There is SOOO much pressure though. This is our first full song [although it’s not all 6 members] ever since DUBattle. This is our first upload since NRP asked us to be affiliated, which was a huge huge huge huge honor. Not to mention, VocaFusion is going on right now so standards for everything have shot up to the clouds, whether we’re talking about singing or mixing or animating. ._.

Tbh, Gemini isn’t that good at mixing. :/ We don’t have a certain set mixer or animator, and we kind of do everything ourselves instead of asking for outside help. >< Or, well, a lot of times I’m both primary mixer and primary animator. ;_; Which does NOT help the quality on either because it’s so much to do… But yeah, we’re not good at getting things to sound polished. O_O We don’t have any member that’s REALLY, REALLY an expert on mixing and knows how to do everything. xD;; We pass files around because we all know different aspects of mixing. But in the end, we’re lacking. And what we have right now of this upcoming upload is lacking a LOT. It’s worrisome. It’s a mess. ._. It can’t live up to the recent studio-quality choruses that we’re surrounded by…

We’re not good at animating either. Oh and did I mention I do most of the animating? =.= Like, I’m not even an animator. I don’t consider myself one at all. I’ve been video-editing for a long time, from making AMVs and MMVs and whenever we were able to do video projects in high school. ;w; And I didn’t start actually -seriously- learning to use Sony Vegas until DUBattle started. So I guess I’m kind of a video-editor.

But I do things my way and I don’t have that Nico Nico Douga style ._____. which makes my “animation” look cheap, uncreative, and weird.. AHHHHHHHHHHH so much pressure. >< I don’t feel satisfied at all with my video for this but 1) I don’t know how to improve it, and 2) it’s kind of too late since we’re trying to upload ASAP.

And now Chiisana just mixed down a demo ;______; and the timing is strangely off… some parts are too early, some parts lag, and these mistakes were actually NOT in my demo from when I passed everything over to Chiisana. D: And we don’t know what’s the cause, so now we have no choice but to just fix everything… Things just keep getting better and better for us. Plus, Chiisana and I have things like school, work [9AM-6PM for me tomorrow], homework, play rehearsals, SLEEPING, etc to worry about so it might be days before this video is  uploaded l-lol..
(_ _);;;;;;;;

We really did our best though. >.< And since we already decided to delay this upload, we’re really going to put in our best effort to make this sound the best that we can. The crappy video is staying as is because.. =w= yeah. I’m not redoing the video. -hairflip-
Overall, my mood right now though is just kinda… BLAHHHHHHHHHHHH.


talking about vivichem
January 30, 2012

[11:20:39 PM] Chiisana: they make me wish
[11:20:47 PM] Chiisana: I had a boyfriend who liked covering (_ _);;;
[11:20:51 PM] Eva: ..
[11:20:52 PM] Eva: me.
[11:20:52 PM] Eva: too.
[11:20:53 PM] Eva: me. too.
[11:20:54 PM] Eva: me.
[11:20:55 PM] Eva: too.


January 29, 2012

[11:10:35 PM] Chiisana: o.o hw restlessness?
[11:10:41 PM] Eva: of course

I can’t believe that on the first day of school, my Stress Management teacher assigned us 60 textbook pages to read. :/ I’m on page 42. I still have other hw to do..
And it’s like, WHAT IS THIS IRONY, I’m supposed to be learning how to CONTROL my stress, not be sitting here wanting to burn the f out of this textbook and ragequit ;______;  This is also way too much information to digest. I’m stressing out so much because although I’m doing my best to take notes—is anyone else in my class even going to take notes tbh???—I CAN’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING and way too much is being pushed onto me even though I’ve only attended one class so far..

I’m reading about anxiety and stuff, and it’s like, YES, YOU ARE CAUSING ME TO FEEL THE EXACT SAME ANXIETY AS THAT YOU ARE TEACHING ME ABOUT, sankyu.


I like how when I’m bored, stressed, or have some random thought, I come running back here to type up some random post about trivial crap hahahaha. I do have a twitter, but to me, this blog is like my twitter, I guess. xD;; Somewhere to go to express the thoughts at the top of your head…
But for some reason, I can’t really bring myself to use my twitter. :/ I just use it to lurk and stalk people. Ryan convinced me to start using twitter to help promote Gemini and I decided that I would use it to post my random not-for-youtube recordings, although now that I revived this blog, I’ll be posting those here mainly.

But I don’t know >.< I’m just really not a twitter/facebook/tumblr type of person although I’m always online on those to stalk around, or to look at pretty & funny stuff in tumblr’s case. I don’t know how people can so openly express their thoughts and broadcast them in public to the world. D: That sounds really hypocritical since I’m doing exactly that here, right now, but I think there’s a difference because obviously if you’re reading this, you must have purposely come onto my blog. You must purposely be here to see what I might have to say ;w; or because you have an interest in me—maybe even if you dislike me—or just because you randomly and irrelevantly found this page. This is my own space that I can do whatever I want with. :/ I don’t care if people see this but I’m not ASKING anyone to see this either. But social networking is different because if you’re posting it, it must be something you want everybody to see. D: Sometimes it’s kind of like pushing it into others’ faces? I don’t really get how some people are able to do that ;__; Maybe they’re just courageous.

I think I’ll try tweeting or using twitter to reply to people once in a while though, when I gather enough courage to OwO it’s just that I’m super awkward and never have anything to say or contribute haha. -loser that always thinks long and hard before tweeting-

Anyway >w<  since school started and I’m very much a procrastinator, you can expect me to come here to make random, trivial posts of spam LOL.

Unofficial VocaFusion Round 1 Rankings
January 29, 2012

WHOAAAA. O A O Aika really spent a lot of time to make this detailed ranking.. (_ _);; I commend her so much haha. I found this really interesting. :3 [VIVICHEM OF COURSE haha. And I’m proud of PareFura for currently being #7. ^__^ That’s pretty good!]

I’ve been kind of immersed into the whole vocaloid scene lately LOL. It makes me so confused about what kinds of things I want to cover or upload in the near future.. ;w; I’m so happy though to be meeting a lot of people of the vocaloid community. ^^ It’s such an honor. New friends <3

Okay bye ]: strapping myself down to this homework.
It’s funny how it’s homework for Stress Management that’s stressing me out like crazy right now..


Hopefully upload from Gemini tomorrow if things go well?

Edit;; …. I’m very worried for Gemini’s upload. It still needs a lot of work, but we’re bent on uploading tomorrow because it’s Ryan’s RyanEatPho youtube channel 2-year anniversary. We’re really going to have to do our best tomorrow, to pull this off..

Shoujo Manga,
January 27, 2012

the quickest way to heart failure.


January 26, 2012

I rant a lot.


That’s just how I am~





I was going to make a new post but then I realized that that would be my 3rd post in the past hour lololol. I’ll just add it here. [:

SO. Speaking of VocaFusion ^___^ my dear, precious, beloved friends and fellow Gemini family members Chiisana and Ryan are in a chorus called Palette’s Fragments aka PareFura. I support them with all my heart so please do check them out. ^^


Visiting Micchi’s blog again [;___; I’m really bad at keeping up with things haha..] makes me realize that I should try taking selcas again. O_O

This post needs a title.
January 25, 2012

;______; Winter break ended and I went back to school today for the new semester…
Can I quit already please =.=

I’ve been dreading this for so long. >_> It was so enjoyable being on winter break and being in denial about the fact that I’m in college.. and now all the responsibility and burden is back. ;__; College, I despise you!!

Um. I was so nervous that I accidentally sat on a bench covered in bird shit. ._.
And I really must be the biggest idiot on the face of the planet.. I don’t know WHAT induced me to register for classes on Mondays and Wednesdays from 9:00 AM til 2:45 PM, with no gaps in between…….. =______= I am going to starve.

I’m lucky [not really]  that today, my classes ended super early–one of my classes lasted for 7 MINUTES–so twice I just.. went back to my car and sat in my car like the pathetic loner with no friends that I am. ._. So I guess I used that time to eat the croissant I packed. It’s going to be so tiring though >.<;;

Also, my first class is called Stress Management ._. but I’m already stressed out like hell because of it.

I’m not looking forward to this at all ><
I’m not looking forward to all this responsibility, to being so tired everyday again, to going to school 3 and a half days, to also going to work 1 and a half days, to frequent all-nighters for homework or studying for tests, to having to try to socialize, to the fact that I actually do not have a single friend in college. .____. Well I have 1 friend in a way.. but we don’t really talk or hang out or anything and he has his own group of friends. It’s really hard to make friends though since I’m not dorming :/ and I didn’t enter the school with a group of friends already.

So everyday I’m just going to be really exhausted and really happy when I finally get home. ;_; -clings to computer- -clings to room- -clings to bed- -clings to skype- -clings to online friends- -clings to League- -clings to youtube-


On another note, I have somehow become a really huge fangirl of Vivid Chemistry and I think I will be shot forever for this. THEY’RE SOOO GOOOD THOUGHHHH and I’m friends with Robert and I just met List ;w;!!! I’m so starstruck, ahhhhhhhhhh.

Lately I’ve been meeting more and more people from the vocaloid community *_________* I honestly had no idea I was so easily starstruck. I’m so happy to meet them though.


It’s 2 AM. ;_; I should probably sleep ’cause tomorrow I have a 2-hour class in the morning and then I work until 6 PM. x_X But I’m not sure if I could fall asleep ’cause I took a nap earlier because I was EXHAUSTED from my first day of school and I was knocked out like a light for.. I lost count of how many hours. ;_; Probably between 4 to 6  hours.

But basically my schedule is:
Mon: school 9 – 2:45
Tue: work 9  – 6
Wed: school 9 – 2:45
Thu: school 10:30 – 12:30, work 1 – 6
Fri: school 9:30 – 11:20

fyi I have no endurance, so -collapses-



Um.. Gemini should have an upload coming this week hopefully! ^^ We’re kind of slow workers though =.= unless it’s a spontaneous thing like with IHGCOTBBISL, Ugly, and Last Christmas.. But it’s coming……. lol. We had the first demo today ;w; It needs a lot of work.. (_ _);;;; I’m a little worried. But hey, at least it’s not DUBattle Royale where we have to worry about deadlines. We’re not meant for competitions tbh LOL. We don’t do deadlines =w=
[Fyi the thing we plan to upload this week was actually started in like.. November.]

January 22, 2012

making Eva inexplicably sad since .. right now.


I’ve been watching over the VocaFusion chorus battle entries [Strawberry Mint is soo good<3] and I KNOW there are still a bunch of really good groups that still haven’t submitted entries yet because I’ve heard about a lot of them and just… ;________; all these pro, talented people with so much popularity [which they deserve, I cannot deny] and I’m just….. ;_______; this makes me sad LOL.

No but really ._. ’cause I can’t even compare to any of them, in singing, in animating, in mixing… nothing.

I really admire them though :/ but….. -corner forever- -draws in imaginary sand with finger- -pokes mushrooms- -eats chocolate-

I’m doing my best though >_< I want to improve at everything. I’ve been feeling really shot down lately regarding my voice, singing, and rapping because.. idk I just can’t do it ]: and I have this good-for-nothing high, thin, sharp, piercing, childish voice that makes everything hard to pull off. I can’t do anything about that part. Right now, I really wish to improve at mixing and animating so I’ll do my best with practicing that. >_< Some of my friends consider me a jack of all trades, but it’s sad because I’m master of none. T.T
[and then I remember people like Katie who can sing superly well, mix, animate, draw, and is a really nice person and it’s like O A O wow. so something like that can actually exist. -admires to fullest-]

January 22, 2012

I’m sorry, the server of Eva’s sanity is down due to malfunction. We seem to be experiencing signs of extreme boredom.


There’s nothing to do ;w;! Lately I’ve had this weird craving to animate something but I’ve already done overkill on Gemini’s upcoming video and I can’t animate the instrumental break because we haven’t figured out the dialogue, and we can’t figure out the dialogue because some members are busy with VocaFusion. ;_;

And I want to play League of Legends but ;w; my League buddies Ryan and Jay have gone to bed..
[Oh yeah =w= Ryan got me into League lol. I’m really bad at it but it’s soooo much fun to play with friends ♥ I’m a little addicted ehe.]

At least I have smoked salmon to keep me company.. -noms-

Oh well! At least being bored is better than being in school! >8D Speaking of which, I don’t wanna go back next week. >_< Please don’t make me~~

My Life
January 21, 2012

Sitting here curled up in my Snuggie, eating popsicles and donut holes, and watching “SNSD and the Dangerous Boys.”