I have revived~

^^ Ever since I got the flu and fevered nonstop for 10 days, even going to the ER, and missed a week of school, my life’s been terrible. xDD I swear fevering for 10 days killed half of my brain cells :[ ‘Cause I’ve really been out of it and just dead all of the time. It was horrible. I was constantly spaced out, and I couldn’t even comprehend my own thoughts T.T And I was in a bad mood 24/7 for no reason and I didn’t emotionally react to anything. Dx

And I’ve been going crazy because the people in my classes are insanely common sense-less and irritating. D: And I’ve just been… ;__; so stressed out…

Because I missed so much school, I’ve been really behind in all of my classes so I constantly felt stupid and useless in class, and on top of that, I had a project to rush-finish and so many things to make up. Like, my AP Lang class turned in 2 essays while I was gone, one being an in-class timed essay and the other they had a week to work on. >_O But I wrote the whole second essay Monday night and Tuesday night, I gave up an hour of sleep and timed myself and wrote the timed essay. DDDDx And I’m not really an extracurricular person.. I get drained out quickly and I’m very routine so I usually go straight home afterschool and am really tired, but lately I’ve had to stay afterschool a lot getting extra help in AP Chem and then making up a couple tests… And I even had to walk home which sucked because my health declined a lot lately… D: And SO WEIRD. My teachers all decided to give out IRREGULARLY HUGE LOADS of hw during this time. T.T

I have never in my life been so stressed out over schoolwork. xD
AND MY GRADES ARE DYING TT_____TT Because of that ONE week I was sick and dying, I’m not gonna get valedictorian! Aggghhh!! Ruined high school for meeeee!!!! -volcano in head erupts- </rant>

But yesterday I finally was able to wake up! ^___^

I was actually ALIIIVEEEE<3333 Oh, it’s great to be alive! I’m finally cured and all better and not all out of it! ^^ Yesterday I was reaaaaaaalllyyyy happy all day~! ^^ <3 I was really hyper! Hehehe. I’m really happy I recovered ^^ I really have not been alive the past few weeks xD I feel really good~ I’m finally back to normal, only feeling even better :D

But I haven’t been able to sing since before I got sick >____< I really miss being able to sing. Right now I still can’t ’cause I still hack and cough every once in a while and my throat is semisore often. :O It sucks~ So when I get home from school, despite it becoming freezingly cold, and this is totally the smartest thing to do, I compensate by eating mint chocolate chip ice cream!<3 ^___^

D: But singing.. Right now I don’t really have too much to live for, but singing is something that’s really important to me, albeit my personal singing skills not considered talent. >__O

Ah! And this week’s Kimi ni Todoke, episode 7, WAS SOOOOO GOOOODDD *___* It was a wonderful episode! I love Sawako ;__; She’s so endearing to me~ And oftentimes I feel like I can relate to her. And Kazehaya-kun!!<33 He seemed like a super cliche main guy character and I didn’t expect much, but I’ve unknowingly come to reaallly loovee himm ;____; He’s so adorable and awesome and KYEEEE the SawakoxKazehaya’ness! ^__^ I ended up liking Kazehaya so much that I was disappointed that guys like him don’t exist in reality :OO xD~


3 Responses

  1. Just thought I’d say something since, well, you really remind me of me from a while back. Sucks that you got sick and missed so much school, but it sounds like you’re working yourself into an early grave. Er, or something like that.

    See, I used to be an awful lot like that, being all obsessed with keeping my grades perfect and the spot of valedictorian in my line of vision. But I was MISERABLE that way. Always stressing over tests (I still do, but that’s not the point :P), crying when I don’t get that A, getting depressed over the mountain of homework — it’s all so petty. When I allowed myself to loosen up a bit, I felt like I could breathe again.

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be valedictorian, but it’s not the end of the world if you can’t make it. So what if you fall behind for a bit and end up with, say, salutatorian, or maybe not even that? It’s perfectly fine, isn’t it? As long as you did your best, that should be good enough.

    Anyway, my point is that you shouldn’t let school stress you out so much that it’s unhealthy. (Did you know stress makes you lose your hair? Happened to me. D:) Join a few extracurricular activities. Take a nap once in a while to unwind. And don’t beat yourself up when you don’t do as well as you hoped/wished/begged the gods for. Believe me, you’ll feel much happier and freer when you do. And maybe, since you mentioned singing, your voice will get better. Stress does take a toll on the vocal cords.

    Besides, what’s so great about the valedictorian title, anyway, besides being able to put that on your college applications? You have to write an icky speech and PRESENT IT TO A LARGE AUDIENCE. :O

    (Sorry for sounding preachy at all. You just remind me so much of myself that I couldn’t help it.)

    • @entrancia:
      Thanks for the advice xD<3

      Don't worry; I'm not like TOTALLY wound up over school. It's just that I usually do pretty fine and get by with A's, sometimes easily, and I don't usually get TOO much homework[omg I'm so used to coming home and singing, watching youtube, eating, and procrastinating for hours, and then finally starting hw at 8, 9, 10..], so when I suddenly got all this stuff to make up that all piled up on top of half my brain cells being gone, which left me no time fo myself, I stressed. :D And tests… to be honest I'm bad and I never study. xD

      So don't worry, I'm still okay for now! :D

      I just still want really good grades because I don't do extracurricular, which is terrible o__o

      But thank you though! ^^ I appreciate your concern and will try to loosen up whenever I get so uptight. :O Ah, and I stopped coughing so I can sing again!

      • Ahh, I get it~

        That’s good, then. ^____^ It’s just that you made your situation sound far more dire than it really is, so I panicked thinking that there’s someone in the world who’s gonna end up like my former self (i.e. miserable, overly stressed, suffocated). I thought I’d save someone’s soul today, but it turns out you don’t need saving. ): You should try at least one extracurricular, though! That’s how I met most of my friends. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt when applying to colleges, cuz they like well-rounded people.

        Good to hear that your voice is great again, though. You sound like singing is something you truly love doing, so keep up with that dream. ^^ Just don’t put yourself down so much, I’m sure you’re a fine singer. :Db

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