If you like, you can just ignore this whole blog entry completely.

It’s not interesting and not stuff that you need to know at all, so just skip this.

Right now I just feel so frustrated and stupid I’m actually bawling my eyes out for no reason, so I’m just gonna vent for a bit.

Hahah. I hate my computer. I really hate it. God damn, I don’t even want it anymore.

It’s not like I ever wanted it in the first place. I was freakin, like, devastated when I found out that my old computer was gone forever, ’cause it has almost-crashed many times, but I was stupid enough to not take them as warnings.

And I hate Vista. I seriously, honestly don’t like Vista. I wanted a Windows XP laptop, but they don’t sell any, so I have to have a Vista. I hate it. And it keeps having problems.

Just less than a week ago, the STUPID settings changed by themselves and decided to make it so that I couldn’t watch youtube or anything flash-related for a couple days. [And that’s when I got addicted to watching Love Contract on VeohTV.]

Well, of course, somehow my dad fixed that. And now my stupid computer’s having problems again. This time, it won’t play any media at all. And that’s just so retarded..

Earlier I was in a good mood, too, and I was talking with Chiichama and saying stuff like, “D: I wanna voice act something right noww,” and I went to find my School Rumble clip because we’ve been planning to fandub it, and hm..the clip wouldn’t play on WMP. So I opened it on another program and it played but there was no sound. And I imported it onto WMM and it wouldn’t play. Actually, nothing else would play on WMM either.

And I tried everything else, but NOTHING will play. Not even SONGS. OR VEOHTV.

Okay, being an AMV-maker, Windows Movie Maker is definitely something I use. And even more, being a singer, I need to at least be able to PLAY SONGS. And being in the middle of watching Love Contract, I need VeohTV!

And I don’t know, the computer just kept giving me stupid messages and telling me I need to download this codec or whatever so I went to download whatever it told me to download but nothing’s working and it was working fine just a couple hours ago and god it pissed me off.

It’s not like it was even good for recording anyway. It’s so stupid. Whenever I record, the recording comes out SO soft and about 0.5 out of time. So EVERY SINGLE track, I have to amp it by 13 and time the track.

And I’m not a one-shot person. I’ll make 5-30 tries just for ONE line of a song. Because I can never get it right. So amping and timing and then just to delete it after, it was all such a waste of time.

And I’ve been tolerating it. I mean, the laptop at least can record, so I didn’t wanna complain that it was such a pain in the ass. But now I can’t stand it.

=/ I know it doesn’t sound bad AT ALL to you, and I guess it’s not that bad, but it’s all just so frustrating and I’m so frustrated and I guess it was a trigger. >__>;

Well now I’m calm enough to not be typing in ALL caps. Eh. Earlier I was a crying wreck. ^^; I know. I’m so immature and stupid and I’m 14 and I still throw tantrums. I don’t understand myself either.

Anybody who really knows me will tell you that I’m a fricken crybaby.

God damn, I cried at TOONTOWN, DISNEYLAND at age 12. Kojiru[kojirurules] was there, so I’m not making it up.
And then I cried on vacation in Hawaii? At age 14. Just last week. Talk about stupid.

I’m too sensitive. In the bad way. I cry easily, I get hurt and offended easily, I get pissed off easily, and it sucks. I can’t control myself. I hate it. I’m hateful.

Hahah and now I’m just going on and on and on and I forgot why I even wanted to blog in the first place.

I guess I’m just mad enough to blog publicly here instead of on my personal xanga where all this crap usually goes and only my close friends have to deal with it. But I guess that’s okay; I would’ve blown up eventually; it’s better I get my real personality out in the open than putting on an image and blowing up later.

Funny how lots of people don’t even know who the hell I am. And I’m not just saying online. At school, it’s so tiring. Like, I’m a different person when I’m at a different place or with different people. Lots of people don’t even know me. I think sometimes I try too hard to get on peoples’ good sides.

“Do not fall into the trap of thinking that if you tell someone what you think they want to hear that they will like you better or respect you more,” was on my horoscope today. Sounds like what I’ve been half-believing all my life. Well, at least, these past few years.

Sigh. I have such a crapload of lines to do. =/

To Record;;

-We Can Make It! AUDITION [For Kiki]
-Balalaika [TL/JS Solo] DEADLINE: MARCH 18
-Lucky Cha Cha Cha REDO ’cause computer crashed [TL/JS Shuffle Unit: Tiny Wheat]
-First Kiss REDO [w/ Lulu/Chobie] – Natsuyaki Miyabi
-21 Made no Cinderella [w/ Lulu/Chobie/Kiki] – Natsuyaki Miyabi
-Ambitious Yashinteki de Ii Jan [Lulu’s] – Kamei Eri
-Dancing Out [KM] – Ryeowook <–Oh crap! Korean!
-Amaenaidayo [Sia’s]
-Ai no Imi wo Oshiete [w/ Nicole] – Tsuji Nozomi
-Piriri to Yukou [MG! Project] – Natsuyaki Miyabi
-Love So Sweet [Kiki’s] – Satoshi Ohno
-Taiyou no Uta  REDO ’cause computer crashed [w/ Kiki]
-Check! 3 second single
-Koi wo Shichaimashita [Mari’s] – Ishikawa Rika
-Oujisama to Yuki no Yuru [Mari’s] – Ishikawa Rika
-Otomepasutani Kanndou [Mari’s] – Ishikawa Rika
-Kiss ~Kaerimichi no Love Song~ [w/ Chiichama] – Tegoshi Yuya
-School Rumble Clip fandub [w/ Chiichama] – Tenma

That is what I still need to record. Copied and pasted from my xanga. I don’t have the time to record.

Argh I just need the fcking time, and I know people are waiting for me to turn in lines, but I just don’t have the time..

Man my back hurts. -____-;; The world is so fricken unfair. Why do us girls have to suffer while guys don’t understand it at all? My back hurts and moving is such a pain…

Now I’m just mad. Fucking health and skin problems that’re making me take 8 pills a day. And I have an ear infection so my ear’s all swollen. And my skin makes me look like I just came back from the dead. And I’ve been told that several times by several different people. That’s so discouraging.

I guess life is going okay. I dislike school. I don’t find it too much fun. Inferiority, jealousy, and annoyance? And in class I’m just that quiet, shy nerd that people love to use. And they don’t even say thank you. Or call me by my name.

Lately the only person I’ve ever been talking to on AIM is Chiichama. Like, I hardly even talk to anybody else anymore.. Somehow I feel like I’m slightly drifting away from my friends. Some of them are planning to transfer to another school next year.

My love life is..oh wait, I’m sorry, I have no love life. Well, at least not anymore. God dammit, it’s already been over half a year, and.. >___>;; Being happy knowing that he’s happy is hard. I’m not even trying to do that anymore.

I talk too much. I really, really need to shut up. Hm. I have half a mind to just delete this whole blog.

Thank God it’s Friday. I don’t want to do anything for the next two days.
Knowing my mom, she’ll probably inconsiderately make plans for me again to go play with little kids. I love them like they’re my sisters, but pretending to be happy-happy-smile-smile all day is tiring. And I don’t think they like me anymore. =/ They’re starting to become the age where they classify everything as either “cool” or “uncool”.

Hahah sorry. =] About writing this whole blog. I feel like I should apologize. Not that I expected anyone to read it. Actually, I hope nobody read it except me o____o Waste of your time. And you’re only learning things you don’t need to learn.

So basically I’m talking to myself. But at least it makes me feel a little better. Funny how just two days ago I was thinking how I was “back in circulation” but I guess not.

I’ve been writing this blog for way too long.


There are no comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: