I can’t believe that on the first day of school, my Stress Management teacher assigned us 60 textbook pages to read. :/ I’m on page 42. I still have other hw to do..
And it’s like, WHAT IS THIS IRONY, I’m supposed to be learning how to CONTROL my stress, not be sitting here wanting to burn the f out of this textbook and ragequit ;______;  This is also way too much information to digest. I’m stressing out so much because although I’m doing my best to take notes—is anyone else in my class even going to take notes tbh???—I CAN’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING and way too much is being pushed onto me even though I’ve only attended one class so far..

I’m reading anxiety and stuff, and it’s like, YES, YOU ARE CAUSING ME TO FEEL THE EXACT SAME ANXIETY AS THAT YOU ARE TEACHING ME ABOUT, sankyu.

~

I like how when I’m bored, stressed, or have some random thought, I come running back here to type up some random post about trivial crap hahahaha. I do have a twitter, but to me, this blog is like my twitter, I guess. xD;; Somewhere to go to express the thoughts at the top of your head…
But for some reason, I can’t really bring myself to use my twitter. :/ I just use it to lurk and stalk people. Ryan convinced me to start using twitter to help promote Gemini and I decided that I would use it to post my random not-for-youtube recordings, although now that I revived this blog, I’ll be posting those here mainly.

But I don’t know >.< I’m just really not a twitter/facebook/tumblr type of person although I’m always online on those to stalk around, or to look at pretty & funny stuff in tumblr’s case. I don’t know how people can so openly express their thoughts and broadcast them in public to the world. D: That sounds really hypocritical since I’m doing exactly that here, right now, but I think there’s a difference because obviously if you’re reading this, you must have purposely come onto my blog. You must purposely be here to see what I might have to say ;w; or because you have an interest in me—maybe even if you dislike me—or just because you randomly and irrelevantly found this page. This is my own space that I can do whatever I want with. :/ I don’t care if people see this but I’m not ASKING anyone to see this either. But social networking is different because if you’re posting it, it must be something you want everybody to see. D: Sometimes it’s kind of like pushing it into others’ faces? I don’t really get how some people are able to do that ;__; Maybe they’re just courageous.

I think I’ll try tweeting or using twitter to reply to people once in a while though, when I gather enough courage to OwO it’s just that I’m super awkward and never have anything to say or contribute haha. -loser that always thinks long and hard before tweeting-

Anyway >w<  since school started and I’m very much a procrastinator, you can expect me to come here to make random, trivial posts of spam LOL.

WHOAAAA. O A O Aika really spent a lot of time to make this detailed ranking.. (_ _);; I commend her so much haha. I found this really interesting. :3 [VIVICHEM OF COURSE haha. And I'm proud of PareFura for currently being #7. ^__^ That's pretty good!]

I’ve been kind of immersed into the whole vocaloid scene lately LOL. It makes me so confused about what kinds of things I want to cover or upload in the near future.. ;w; I’m so happy though to be meeting a lot of people of the vocaloid community. ^^ It’s such an honor. New friends <3

Okay bye ]: strapping myself down to this homework.
It’s funny how it’s homework for Stress Management that’s stressing me out like crazy right now..

~

Hopefully upload from Gemini tomorrow if things go well?

;________________________________________;

OwO

That’s just how I am~

-flails-

I’M STILL LOOPING VIVICHEM AHHHHHHHHHH

~

Edit;;

I was going to make a new post but then I realized that that would be my 3rd post in the past hour lololol. I’ll just add it here. [:

SO. Speaking of VocaFusion ^___^ my dear, precious, beloved friends and fellow Gemini family members Chiisana and Ryan are in a chorus called Palette's Fragments aka PareFura. I support them with all my heart so please do check them out. ^^

~

Visiting Micchi’s blog again [;___; I'm really bad at keeping up with things haha..] makes me realize that I should try taking selcas again. O_O

I’ve been dreading this for so long. >_> It was so enjoyable being on winter break and being in denial about the fact that I’m in college.. and now all the responsibility and burden is back. ;__; College, I despise you!!

Um. I was so nervous that I accidentally sat on a bench covered in bird shit. ._.
And I really must be the biggest idiot on the face of the planet.. I don’t know WHAT induced me to register for classes on Mondays and Wednesdays from 9:00 AM til 2:45 PM, with no gaps in between…….. =______= I am going to starve.

I’m lucky [not really]  that today, my classes ended super early–one of my classes lasted for 7 MINUTES–so twice I just.. went back to my car and sat in my car like the pathetic loner with no friends that I am. ._. So I guess I used that time to eat the croissant I packed. It’s going to be so tiring though >.<;;

Also, my first class is called Stress Management ._. but I’m already stressed out like hell because of it.

I’m not looking forward to this at all ><
I’m not looking forward to all this responsibility, to being so tired everyday again, to going to school 3 and a half days, to also going to work 1 and a half days, to frequent all-nighters for homework or studying for tests, to having to try to socialize, to the fact that I actually do not have a single friend in college. .____. Well I have 1 friend in a way.. but we don’t really talk or hang out or anything and he has his own group of friends. It’s really hard to make friends though since I’m not dorming :/ and I didn’t enter the school with a group of friends already.

So everyday I’m just going to be really exhausted and really happy when I finally get home. ;_; -clings to computer- -clings to room- -clings to bed- -clings to skype- -clings to online friends- -clings to League- -clings to youtube-

~

On another note, I have somehow become a really huge fangirl of Vivid Chemistry and I think I will be shot forever for this. THEY’RE SOOO GOOOD THOUGHHHH and I’m friends with Robert and I just met List ;w;!!! I’m so starstruck, ahhhhhhhhhh.

Lately I’ve been meeting more and more people from the vocaloid community *_________* I honestly had no idea I was so easily starstruck. I’m so happy to meet them though.

~

It’s 2 AM. ;_; I should probably sleep ’cause tomorrow I have a 2-hour class in the morning and then I work until 6 PM. x_X But I’m not sure if I could fall asleep ’cause I took a nap earlier because I was EXHAUSTED from my first day of school and I was knocked out like a light for.. I lost count of how many hours. ;_; Probably between 4 to 6  hours.

But basically my schedule is:
Mon: school 9 – 2:45
Tue: work 9  - 6
Wed: school 9 – 2:45
Thu: school 10:30 – 12:30, work 1 – 6
Fri: school 9:30 – 11:20

fyi I have no endurance, so -collapses-

~

AWWWWWWWWWWW ;_____; <3

Um.. Gemini should have an upload coming this week hopefully! ^^ We’re kind of slow workers though =.= unless it’s a spontaneous thing like with IHGCOTBBISL, Ugly, and Last Christmas.. But it’s coming……. lol. We had the first demo today ;w; It needs a lot of work.. (_ _);;;; I’m a little worried. But hey, at least it’s not DUBattle Royale where we have to worry about deadlines. We’re not meant for competitions tbh LOL. We don’t do deadlines =w=
[Fyi the thing we plan to upload this week was actually started in like.. November.]

=.=

http://www.youtube.com/video_response_view_all?v=lfCNvJGobV0

I’ve been watching over the VocaFusion chorus battle entries [Strawberry Mint is soo good<3] and I KNOW there are still a bunch of really good groups that still haven’t submitted entries yet because I’ve heard about a lot of them and just… ;________; all these pro, talented people with so much popularity [which they deserve, I cannot deny] and I’m just….. ;_______; this makes me sad LOL.

No but really ._. ’cause I can’t even compare to any of them, in singing, in animating, in mixing… nothing.

I really admire them though :/ but….. -corner forever- -draws in imaginary sand with finger- -pokes mushrooms- -eats chocolate-

I’m doing my best though >_< I want to improve at everything. I’ve been feeling really shot down lately regarding my voice, singing, and rapping because.. idk I just can’t do it ]: and I have this good-for-nothing high, thin, sharp, piercing, childish voice that makes everything hard to pull off. I can’t do anything about that part. Right now, I really wish to improve at mixing and animating so I’ll do my best with practicing that. >_< Some of my friends consider me a jack of all trades, but it’s sad because I’m master of none. T.T
[and then I remember people like Katie who can sing superly well, mix, animate, draw, and is a really nice person and it's like O A O wow. so something like that can actually exist. -admires to fullest-]

/shot

There’s nothing to do ;w;! Lately I’ve had this weird craving to animate something but I’ve already done overkill on Gemini’s upcoming video and I can’t animate the instrumental break because we haven’t figured out the dialogue, and we can’t figure out the dialogue because some members are busy with VocaFusion. ;_;

And I want to play League of Legends but ;w; my League buddies Ryan and Jay have gone to bed..
[Oh yeah =w= Ryan got me into League lol. I'm really bad at it but it's soooo much fun to play with friends ♥ I'm a little addicted ehe.]

At least I have smoked salmon to keep me company.. -noms-

Oh well! At least being bored is better than being in school! >8D Speaking of which, I don’t wanna go back next week. >_< Please don’t make me~~

.. so when this song came out, I was like, “Wow I’m not going to solo this because everybody–and everybody that everybody knows–is going to solo this.” =w=

And then around the time of my “【Eva】 2006 – 2011″ video, the Gemini girls were going to try to enter SM’s The Boys vocal contest. To keep it a surprise, I didn’t specify why I was singing The Boys ;w; and I guess that viewers assumed I meant I was solo’ing it.. (_ _);; Oh and obvs our entry never even came close to seeing the light. One day soon though! ^^

Anyway, I was like .. O A O…. -stricken by guilt-
Aaaand I especially felt sorry towards Nami (JPNSinger101) and Katie (seahorsegurl) who had both commented saying they were looking forward to my cover of The Boys, sooooooo ;w;..!! yeah. Also, coincidentally, those two girls are people I really admire and envy [guhh I want their mature voices], and I’m really thankful to them, and I hope they see this. -hides-

…My range is kind of sad. Those high notes are sad.
Thanks to Chii (ChiisanaChanx3) for helping to teach me some of the harmonies and Ryan (RyanEatPho) for fixing that one part! ..Jeffrey, thanks for trying to help although I ended up asking Chii in the end. =w=b

~

I totally cheated. LOL. Well idk, I preferred singing the high notes at a lower pitch and then pitching it up.. ;w; rather than doing it in head voice. My range is so depressing though (_ _);;;;;; It was really saddening to sing because I just couldn’t do it LOL. Also, I don’t do runs. =w= So I did my own thing instead of trying to do it properly.

……

Wow.

Wow.

I’m in a call with some Gemini members right now and our topic has basically been 1) Jessica’s run, and 2) Jessica’s “’cause the girls bring the boys out, etc etc” high note part.

._________________.

They can do it all………………………………………………………………………..

But I can’t do any of it >_< This is really depressing hahaha. ;_; I don’t get how they do it. Ryan did Jessica’s run like.. flawlessly. It was seemless and 100% on pitch and he hit all 8 notes, at the right tempo, and omg……… And then Chiisana can do it too, although she did it a bit slower but STILL OMG. -stabs self- And Jeffrey.. =w= can’t do it either but he can do it in slow-mo and hit all the notes and it still sounds good and he’s definitely on his way and WTF. ;________;

And then the high notes >_<
I have the worst range among all of the Gemini members ;_; and it’s something that kind of haunts me. I’m really trying my best and my range has been improving very slowly, but I just can’t do high notes. :/ Freaking Jeffrey =.= him and his endless range…. I do not understand… And then Chii’s range, omg, I’m so jealous she’s a soprano… And then Ryan’s range omg. And then Jay’s range omg. And then Mimi with her crazy high notes omg. Can I just stab myself ;_;

;_; I feel kind of incompetent haha. Like, all of Gemini’s members are insanely versatile… More than you know. :/ There are a lot of sides to them that aren’t shown to the public [most of us are really shy] so I don’t think anybody really knows how talented and versatile they are, BUT THEY REALLY ARE. Trust me. It’s really crazy and I admire them so much. And then I’m here like….
-can’t do harmonies-
-has to ask Jeffrey for help-
-too stupid to effectively use Jeffrey’s help-
-has to ask Chii for a harmony guide-
-can’t do high notes-
-has to ask Ryan to melodyne the highest “girls bring the boys out”-
-can’t do runs but watches everyone else pull them off-
-can’t do high notes, so makes sure that Chii and Mimi get them all-
-doesn’t have any creativity-
-gets ideas from Mimi-
-tries to rap but voice is too high and childish-
-considered main mixer but can’t do mastering-
-has to leave EQing to Chii-
-has to leave tuning to Ryan-
-considered main animator-
-can’t compare at all to usual animators-
-tries to sound soft and emotional-
-can’t compare to Mimi-
-tries to belt-
-can’t compare to Chii, Ryan, or Mimi-
-tries to sound cute-
-can’t compare to the king of aegyo, Jay-

THE USELESSNESS IS KILLING MEHHHHH

/endrant